As a parent, I think most of us can agree that we have heard on more than one occasion from our “adult”, 20 something children say, “I’m a grown ass person”. I know I did. To be a grown ass person, you have to have certain key qualities of an independent person. There is no magic age that makes you an independent person and people of all ages struggle with certain aspects of independence.
To be a truly independent and self reliant person, it take sacrifice and determination.
A dependent person will keep falling back on people to take care of them because of errors in judgement, mismanagement of funds, fear of being alone, liking the victim role or because it is easier than taking care of ones self.
If you consider your failures as the end and not a lesson learned, you are not an independent person.
Become an Independent Person
I have listened to many people talk about getting their lives together, attacking their goals and becoming an independent person. They talk a good game but make little effort to actually claim their life and independence. I thought about the top qualities that I believe make someone a truly an independent person with integrity.
Qualities of an Independent Person
- Financial Independence: You don’t have to be rich, but you have to live within your means. This is one of the most important qualities of an independent person. THEY PAY THEIR BILLS!
- Emotional Independence: If you can’t control your emotions, your emotions will control you. Out of control emotions will cause you to make decisions or do things that won’t be in your best interest. Independent people control their emotions.
- Prioritize Your Life: If you can’t pay your bills buying cigarettes, drinking or eating out probably aren’t good choices. An independent person knows their priorities.
Without Gratitude You Can’t know true joy or independence
- Gratitude: I have never met an independent person that is not grateful for all things in their lives. Even with challenges and heartache they find daily gratitude.
- Independent people use birth control: They know how many children they can afford and when they want them.
- Independent people don’t use sex: Sex should not be used to validate self worth, attractiveness or to prove that someone cares for you.
- Joy in being alone: Independent people enjoy alone time. They utilize this time to care for themselves, learn new skills or focus on self improvement. They find peace with themselves instead of looking to others to fill the silence or time alone.
- Self Improvement: An independent person is always improving themselves. He or she is always learning and improving skills. Upgrading yourself includes career, taking classes, learning new hobbies, physical fitness, going to the gym, reading or whatever keeps the body and brain active and healthy.
Saying No is Empowering
- Know How To Say NO: An independent person knows their limits. they are comfortable with telling people no when they don’t want to do something or feel it may over load them.
- Selective About Relationships: Independent people don’t engage or get into unhealthy relationships. They surround themselves with like minded people that are goal orientated and live healthy and productive lives.
- Independent people don’t need validation from others: You know what you want and you don’t need others to fill your needs. You want people to know you are strong and inspiring not a hot mess that needs constant validation.
- Qualities of an independent person means Integrity to others and yourself: Making promises and keeping them to others is easy, true integrity is keeping promises to yourself. Goals big and small are completed
- Independent People aren’t addicted: Cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs make you dependent!
Conclusion
In Conclusion, you may have many signs of being an independent person but until you can master your finances, alone time, addictions, saying NO and integrity to self, you will never be a fully independent person.
These are my thoughts on being independent, you may have a very different view, but to be independent and goal oriented you have to be able to answer yes to most of these qualities. I know for most young people they believe the magic age of 18 means I am an adult, I am independent, but true independence means standing on your own two feet and doing whatever it takes to not be dependent on others.
You don’t have to be wildly successful or rich, but you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror each day, and know that you can pay your bills, care for your family and celebrate mini victories. Set goals, big and small and achieve them. Integrity to self is key!
Nice article. I like the financial independence part. I know a many young people who think they are independent and the parents pay half of their expenses.
Great post!! I totally agree with you..I know people in their 40’s who still are not independent and think they are..Everyone needs help once in awhile and being grateful is the best way to prove that you are an adult and doing your best to be independent!
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