I felt compelled to write today, which is a good thing. Since the loss of my son writing has seemed impossible. But this morning I was motivated to put into words my advice to the 20 and 30 somethings some words to live by. It started out as advice from an old lady to young women but as I started typing realized it applied to men too!
Relationship Drama
- If you are healthy and breathing stop whining about the little shit in your life. Do something! You have the power to be and do what ever you want, don’t throw it away.
- Having sex with someone doesn’t mean you love them. Don’t confuse the two. Nor does it mean you have to stay with the person because you have good sex.
- Just because someone loves you or is nice to you does not mean you have to be in a relationship with them.
- If someone treats you badly, says negative things to you or hurts you, get out now. You don’t need this person. It never gets better, it will continue to get worse until you are broken.
- Repeating the same mistakes with a relationship by going back to the person who hurt you before is like banging your head on a concrete wall. It doesn’t change and is only going to happen again. And your head and heart are going to hurt.
- The only person that can make you happy is you! Do not count or believe that others can make you happy. Self-Happiness is the only real happiness and until you find that you will not know true happiness.
Do More! Travel, Learn, Explore
- Travel, see the world. Do exciting things that make your blood rush and cause some fear and excitement in your heart and mind.
- Learn something. Never stop learning. It will open new doors for you your whole life.
- Be good at whatever you choose to do. Whether it’s teaching school, bio-engineering, walking dogs, serving food, a doctor, welding, cutting hair, it doesn’t matter. Be the best at whatever it is that you are doing and love it!
- Do not be loyal to people at work, they are your work mates not your family or friends. They will replace you when you leave.
- Family is the most important thing you will ever have. Don’t lose connections with your family, one day you will need them and they will need you.
- Surround yourself with only positive people. You mirror the people in your life. Make sure they are a good reflection of who you are and want to be.
- Take care of yourself, what you do right now will affect how you feel in your 40’s, 50’s and beyond.
Count Your Blessings
- Count your blessings everyday. There is always, always something to be grateful for.
- Stop wanting pity or people to feel sorry for you! This path will never lead to good positive relationships. And stop feeling sorry for yourself.
- If you aren’t finding joy in what you are doing, stop doing it!
- Remember that you are what you think you are. If you keep looking at yourself as a loser you will be a loser. If you start telling yourself how wonderful, talented, beautiful, handsome, hardworking, and smart you are then you will soon become that person.
- People treat you the way you allow them to treat you! If you want to be treated well then treat yourself well.
- If you have children, do not create or allow a negative world for them with negative relationships. They will be scarred for life and doomed to repeat your mistakes.
- Also, if you have children, give them positive experiences not things. Experiences will make them a better person.
- Most Important: You are the lucky one, you are alive! You are able to choose your path, you’re the author of your own book, your future. Many are not given this opportunity. Quit your damn complaining, pull up you panties, or boxer shorts and get out there and live.
Don’t Waste Your Life: Advice from an old lady
I hate seeing young people struggle so much with everyday life. Life that is so full of choices and wonder. If you will stop for one minute and count your blessings you will change the whole dynamic of your day and life.
As a mom that has lost much, I beg you to find your passion, your joy, find happiness and live. My Children didn’t get this chance, don’t blow it!
If you aren’t finding Joy in what you are doing, don’t do it! This is my advice from an old lady.
Great article. So many good lessons for wise younger women. It is sad that in our culture we don’t listen to older people and want advice from people our own age.
Especially since we have already been through it. So much heartache could be saved. Thank you.
Great post, the comment about positive people really hit home.
Thank you and so happy you could relate.
I can’t imagine your loss and so happy you have begun to write again. Don’t you wish we could sit down to lunch with our 20 year old selves and have a come to Jesus.
OMG yes I wish I could do a do over. One I would still have my sons and life would not be like it is today. Thank you.
This was really touching! I am 47 and going through horrible perimenopause, I have been depressed and isolated myself from living life! I feel as if I learned from your post to push myself more a nd not let fear hold me back! Thank you!
Thank you. I wish you luck on your journey. I hope you can get past the depression and stop isolating yourself. I am glad you are trying to push through.
I love this. Excellent advice for any age!!
Thank you and yes I hope some people take it!
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