DNA, Almost 60 Years and My Brother Found Me!

Oh my gosh, “quit calling”, was the thought going through my head as the phone kept ringing. I kept getting the same call from a Florida number. I just knew if I picked it up it would hear a recording of ” you’ve just won a free three day Bahama cruise”. So I didn’t answer. Finally on the fifth call I answered. “Yeah, what?” with a sharpness of quit bugging me in my voice.

Surprise!

Then I heard, “Hi, I know this call will catch you off guard, and please hear me out, but I think I am your brother”. I sat down, and kind of shook my head. “What?” I said. The man said, ” My name is William, and I was adopted and have been looking for my biological family. I took the 23 and Me test and I think I am your brother”.

Admittedly my heart was beating a little faster. I never knew my biological father. I had never even seen a picture of him. My biological father was a horribly abusive bad man that had hurt many people. I knew I had an older brother somewhere but thought he was dead, and this was a totally different brother I knew nothing about.

William was born in Texas. He was adopted and his biological mother and my father were never married.

A little apprehensive

We spoke for quite some time, I mean this wasn’t a call you get everyday. Still nervous because I knew how bad my dad was and I really wanted nothing to do with him or his family. William put my heart at ease when he confirmed that our father was dead.

It was kind of amazing how at ease we were with each other. We talked about our lives, how we were connected, and agreed to talk again. Which we did everyday for a few weeks. We both started researching like crazy and learned so much about our crazy criminal father and the family we never knew.

It was pretty astonishing to learn I had a brother. Also a little weird to invite a complete stranger into my home. But through our long conversations I just knew it was something both William and I needed.

William Comes To Boise

Very excited for us to somehow get together in person, William booked a flight and made the long trek from Florida to Idaho to meet me, his little sister.

I picked him up at the Boise Airport and we went to lunch. He was not familiar with Thai cuisine, which he found he loved, something we now have in common. We talked for hours catching up on the last six decades that we had missed with each other.

William’s life was and is good but never had siblings that he was close to. His adoptive family had an older daughter, that William explains, treated him more like a house plant than a little brother. Both his adoptive parents and sister have since passed.

After William arrived in Idaho a huge hurricane hit Florida so his three day trip turned into a week. All of the airports were closed in Florida where he lived. This gave us more time to get to know each other.

Fun Times

Our week together was fun and informative. We shared pictures, stories, good food, glasses, okay bottles of wine and laughs. William and I share many of the same loves in life. We both love wine, animals and travel and have been lucky enough to visit some of the same places. In fact there is very little we disagree about, kind of strange considering we were raised in very different worlds. And as most of you know I am little opinionated.

William has been nothing but wonderful about some of the problems in my family, and is extremely sympathetic to all of the care I have to provide to my four disabled family members daily. He also loves and has contributed to our sweet old fur babies at Furever Haus. It fills my heart to know he’s out there for me.

DNA Tells The Story

William has built quite the family tree on Ancestry.com. He has been working on the tree for a few years. I was definitely a huge missing piece. Finding me solidified who his father was even though he didn’t want him to be, I think finding me made it okay. We are definitely two apples that fell far far away from that tree.

I didn’t do Ancestry.com, I did the 23 and Me DNA kit. William finally decided to try the 23 and Me just in case he was missing DNA family members. William said when he got his results it shocked him so much he quickly deleted it. After a while and some serious thought he picked up the phone and called me.

Another Brother?

I told him about our other brother before he came to visit. I met our other brother, also named William, back when I was a toddler when our mothers testified against our father for being a polygamist.

Our moms felt safe testifying because our father was in San Quentin for shooting one of his many wives at the time they went to court. William and I decided not to contact our other brother during this first visit since we knew he had had a relationship with our father and we were both very nervous about that past.

I was the lucky one

I will admit I was the lucky one. William had a good family and a good life. I had the most amazing family ever. My mom, sister and I have always been they dynamic trio. Coonis girls rule! is our mantra. Through thick and thin. Kari, the best sister ever, located her biological father several years ago and made connections with her half siblings as well and has had a good relationship with them and her dad until he passed away last year. I am often asked if mine and Williams relationship bothers her. I think Kari is happy for me, Kari and my relationship is so strong nothing could bother either of us. In fact it was Kari that bought me the 23 and Me kit for Christmas last year that brought William and I together.

William and I Still Talk Daily

It has now been over six months and William and I still talk daily. It is nice knowing in this crazy world that there is one more person that cares about me, my family and I care about him.

We have since learned we had a sister in Scotland that passed away in 2012. And, We have located our other brother, kind of crazy he actually lives in Northern Idaho and came to visit me last month. But that’s another story………………..stay tuned. We are also planning a get together for the three of us in May. I promise to share the details.