My Quiet Time

I sit here this morning snuggled up on the couch enjoying what I refer to as my quiet time.  The rain is gently dropping on the kitchen sky light making me think of my time in the jungle during rainy season.  The rescue pups have been fed, and the only sound is that of Mouse, the 18-year-old cat meowing with her big robust meow out of her tiny 4-pound body and mom’s oxygen machine.

I love my quiet time because it is the only time, I don’t have to attend to the needs of everyone else in the house.  It is my time to reflect on the previous day, make goals for the days coming and to let my head and body relax.

As the only caregiver in the house this time is so important for me to refuel myself for the rest of the day.  Whether you are a mom of small children or a caregiver like me that cares for four disabled adults you know how valuable this time is.

Looking back at yesterday I feel blessed that my youngest son, now diagnosed with Bipolar Depressive Disorder and PNES (psychogenic non-epileptic seizures) let me help him clean his apartment.  He lives right next door to us which in hindsight makes me very happy we bought a home with an attached apartment.  His disease makes it hard for him to track and keep on task. Sadly, that also includes cleanliness.  His apartment was horrible.  Dishes from weeks ago not done.

A Day of Victory

But yesterday a victory, he finally said ok.  Now just to help him keep up on the cleaning.  It’s the little victories that bring me joy with him right now.  Mental illness is such a hard thing to cope with as a family.  Unpredictable behavior and depression make communication difficult.  But yesterday Joy that we were able to jump in and clean together, added with lighthearted discussion my heart is full.

His girlfriend works as a caregiver for another lady.  She is good for him in most cases, but I have concerns that she too doesn’t mind living in a very dirty house.  I am not picky. I have never been a neat freak and must admit that growing up I was a slob.  But there is a difference of being a clutter slob and filth.  And filth is what they have been living in for months.  Fingers crossed we are on to a new trend here.

As I think about what tasks must be completed today, I am at ease with the soft sounds of snoring dogs. Four on the couch with me and two sawing logs to my right side and the snorts of poor Cali behind me, A funny, 15-year-old beagle with allergies.

Life is good. The clock is just about to turn 9:00AM so I must get started on my routine. But I would like first to leave you with some ideas for you coping with caregiving, kids, hectic days, loss, tragedy or anything else that can zap all your good energy.

My ideas to start a positive day no matter what’s happening in your life

1. Wake up an hour early – Give yourself this time for you
2. Grab a warm drink – coffee, tea, hot chocolate what ever makes you feel warm
3. If it’s cold throw on a warm blanket
4. Stretch your body, get the blood flowing
5. Reflect on something good that happened yesterday – I know somedays feel like nothing good happened, but it did. Even the little things like a great hair day, the dog didn’t potty on the floor, a good friend called, you lost a pound, somebody smiled at you, your child got a good grade, your husband cleaned the kitchen, you laughed for no reason, just any little positive. 
6. Write down the good things!  Date them, then when you feel you have no good things you can look back and see that you do!

And like clockwork, my husband is awake and up and in pain.  I must now go get him his pain meds.  I monitor his meds for him because he forgets when he takes them and can take to many. Mom is up now, fresh coffee, water and yogurt served.  Mom i salso in pain this morning, I got her a heating pad for her side.  She normally doesn’t have to much pain, so this is a little concerning. 

So, my day begins.

Enjoy yours and remember, you are amazing!